I care about the political leanings of an athlete as much as I care about the sports ability of a politician.

Perhaps this Taco Bell will help my acid reflux

Me: I don't have a Minnesota accent. Also Me: Oooohhh I dooooon't knoooooow.

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my high school yearbook I have some devastating news

1978… Willie Nelson releases the song, “Mama’s don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys.” 18 years later in 1996… Paula Cole releases the song, “Where have all the cowboys gone?” I’m not blaming Willie, I’m just saying it’s weird.

Pastor Mark: In Jesus name, Amen. Someone's phone: *tah daaaaah!*

I'm getting highly offended by posts celebrating the 30th anniversary of movies that came out in the 90s, which was only 10 years ago.

Keith Richards

This might be the FUNNIEST stunner I’ve ever seen 😂 😂

“It’s been a long-ass week” — me, in the middle of Monday.

LEEEEEEROYYYYYYY JENKINNNNNNS

Did anyone ever rock down to Electric Avenue and then subsequently take it higher?