There are things known, and things unknown, and in between there were the tweets.

2009 - 2023

Toodles.

Bluesky is WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY better than this.

If you're funny or creative, don't waste your time here anymore.

Follow me on Bluesky if you're into that sorta thing.

I'm never paying for this app.

The end is nigh.

Free speech is starting to get expensive.

Back off, man. I'm a centrist.

I just shit my pants.

Dying my hair greyer.

I wonder how many things people licked before they discovered toads.

You know what they say about guys with big ears.

Orcas are the least gay of the dolphin species.

People are always 'I'm here for you', and never 'here's 15 thousand dollars for you'.

To become president you should have to defeat John Cena.

Remember when people would say 'be safe!' instead of goodbye. That was weird.

Waiter! This fettuccine Alfredo is weak and stupid!

You're not allowed to say 'old school' until you've had a hip replacement.

Your dad's not an alcoholic? Wow, you must be rich.

you're all very rude

Getting in shape is easy, I don't understand people.

[Sips chicken breast smoothie]

Kangaroo and hot sauce.