“mars please that’s enough daisy and peach yuri” WRONG! they are kissing again

realizing that spironolactone makes you pee more because pee is stored in the balls and spiro makes your balls shrink so there is no where for the pee to be stored at

Starting disco elysium. What a way to wake up

My bush walks in the room before i do

Autocorrect started changing 'everyone' into 'everypuppy'

“Hey girl, love you down but, me n the girls have been thinking the way you weaponize incompetence and refuse to clean shared spaces is pretty clocky”

Im what you get when gay chicken goes too far

okay because you keep asking for women to say it this way: I hate ALL men, PARTICULARLY the subsection of you who get so deeply insecure about your position in a violently gendered system that you won't try to have sympathy for a trans woman venting, to the point of dogpiling

Maybe i’ve also changed

call me a zoophile the way im dating the goat

i’m gonna stop saying i’m traumatized and just start saying my brains haunted. sorry. can’t be normal rn. brains haunted.

Overheard: Being a woman is kind of like being a cyclist in a city where all the cars represent men. You're supposed to be able to share the road equally with cars, but that's not how it works. The roads are built for cars and you spend a great deal of physical and mental energy

Drop a pic of you smoking 🍃 From november 2024

Me n my wife

I love my gf so much it makes my chest ache when I have to leave for work in the mornings

Wake up anxious at 4am? Cant go back to sleep? Great! Scroll twitter until the sun comes up! This surely wont make your life measurably worse

whenever i say praise the gods please understand that by “gods” i’m talking about all women collectively

Yea im familiar with DBT D deez B balls T sTink