This is already me

I don’t think I’ve ever been as silent as I was when Lance Lynn narrowly avoided giving up a fourth straight home run just to give it up on the next pitch

Meu sonho ter uma namorada pra me mandar um video desse as 15h de uma terça-feira só pra dar um incentivo na minha vida

I need a out of state flight & a weekend of getting slutted out in a hotel somewhere by the loml

Shit brightens your day man lol

Adjusting for inflation we can see what life should be: Average income ~$40,500 New House ~$91,300 New car ~$20,100 Average rent ~$630 per month Harvard ~$9,800 per year Movie ticket: ~$5.85 Gas ~$2.34 Postage stamp ~$0.70 Doesn't even account increased productivity from tech

Big day for me Ozzy and Bobby Light 🇲🇽

Hope all big titty women having a smooth day

Being 28 is so weird because you feel like you’re 23 but then you meet someone who’s 23 and realize what 5 years does for you.

White people don't want to discuss slavery but worship the Confederacy, which only existed to preserve slavery.

having a roster after age 25 is a sign of self neglect

you can see him be like “ooh a bunny” and then locks in. and then he overshoots bc he expects the bunny to run away. and then hes like sniffing and is like “i guess ill grab the thing anyway idk what it is” and then he realizes its definitely not food and leaves it lmao

When you're used to telling people "heal and move on" but now it's your turn.

Dodger games on KCAL 9 lol. Simpler times.

Her : He's just a friend Me : Put him on speaker and tell him you're horny

You can't even choke a btch out nowadays mfs get wet & start smiling 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Von Carter 💽🎙️ Marcus S. (Yankees 13-9) 🪦🦇 The movie was GREAT. Nobody said it was 100% factual.

I see you have fries. Interestingly I also like fries