Black hole sun won’t you come and wash away the rain? #caitlynkiramman #arcane

( lost in her thoughts, she is standing in front of one of the gates surrounding her house, cigarette hanging from her lips, a ribbon of smoke tracing the air with every exhale. )

( coming home after a long work trip is ... more tiring than she expected. remind her not to take personally any situation that involves leaving her bed for the next 8 hours. )

anyone interested in two tickets to the new musical the piltover theatre society is staging? they were graciously given to me, and, uh, well ... i think it’s only fair to pass that generosity along.

whoever invented the crosswalk was conducting a macabre psychological experiment, and we've all fallen right into their hands.

there's no dignified way to run after a criminal while holding a pastry. i've tested this more than once but this morning i have reached levels of embarrassment that cannot be measured.

the debate about whether animals love us feels rather silly. the question isn’t ‘does my dog love me?’, it’s ‘do i love my dog?’ and if the answer is yes, the rest hardly matters. love, after all, isn’t a transaction. it isn’t a contract to be signed or proven, it's simply given.

after overhearing their opinions of me at the station, i've begun to indulge myself ... choosing every word with such deliberate precision it borders on theatrical, simply to see how long it takes before they realize i'm just teasing. so far, no one has noticed.

i was reading a book of ... let's say, mystery and romance, and for a moment i felt so envious of the love interest that i had to put the book down for a few seconds.

i love my beautiful infant son (The Dirty Earl)

is there anything more humiliating than waving at someone who wasn't waving at you ? remains to be seen.

i want to clear up the rumors that haunt me this month: i am not, nor have i ever been, a vampire. yes, i do share the vampire schedule, but do i have fangs ? do i have a cape ? no, so ... —— wait.

why does every drawer in this house make the same passive-aggressive noise—? i'm just trying to find my favourite socks !