if there’s on thing about me, i’m gonna fall asleep during a movie

lizzo fat shaming is like me slut shaming… i’m ctfu at the irony

Her: are you fucking stupid? Me:

IM SORRY?????

why does my dental hygienist know secrets that some of my friends don’t even know

spent all night gaslighting someone into thinking i’m straight

Why is everyone on this app so anti condom like there is no chance I’m ever hooking up with anyone without one unless we’re together or I know u super well 😹

my whole tl and fyp is about red, white, and royal blue but i refuse to watch it bc the book was so bad i couldn’t even finish it

need show recs🧎‍♂️

i want more tattoos so bad but don’t have enough ideas :(

finally a 20 year old teenage boy

✨ BOOM! befriends Susan

why did she sit there and serve after being pushed im crying

just realized starbucks released their fall menu, gotta go change my name on the mobile app to “señorita awesome”

no actually the alcohol mixes with a special compound in the antibiotics that releases a unique healing energy into the body and returns you to a homeostasis even more powerful than what you had before

Someone lick my balls NOW!!!!!