Wellington mayoral candidate Pennywize the Rewilding Clown says he will abolish the Johnsonville mall and replace it with rata trees.

Incredible scenes Accidental Partridge

He was 21 when he tweeted this.

its kind of messed up how right they are about working out, eating right, and a respectable bed time. they should invent a body that can just run on diet coke and cheese

Michael Deportillo

just went to someone else’s circus and my fucking monkeys were there

If it turns out Mandelson went to Epstein’s island to buy a house but paid the wrong stamp duty he’ll be in REAL trouble.

A drug-addled South African rocket maker plotting regime change in Britain is very Brosnan-era Bond, isn’t it?

This is the biggest sporting scandal since sandpapergate when Australia played South Africa thetimes.com/uk/scotland/ar…

ANZ saying thank you when you pay your credit card on the app is a nice touch. Feels strangely sincere.

Lib Dem result is interesting - the long-standing tuition fee monkey on the Lib Dems back obviously not an issue with 18-24 year olds too young at 2010 election to even be aware of it

I am listening to Jeremy Paxman’s audiobook of Black Gold: The History of How Coal Made Britain - its very good - UNTIL he pronounces Greenock in the same way you would pronounce Greenwich!

Daubney goes full Partridge in Windsor 😬

England, bound in with the triumphant sea, who’s rocky shore beats back the envious siege of watery Neptune, is now bound in with shame.

Oktoberfest begins today – we hope that anyone participating in the festivities will have a better time than Ian Nairn did back in 1971 – Prost!

For those doubting, Thai commercials are the best in the world. Possibly the entire solar system.

(trying to hit on a doctor)