oh, im a "gimmick account??" *kickflips* what's my "gimmick" huh?? *purchases a 2018 subaru outback* being fucking rad?

What stage of capitalism is this

We’re just sayin’. To abolish mask -wearing laws in some States while the rest of the Nation keeps theirs is like designating a peeing section of the swimming pool.

I no longer get up to investigate strange noises. It’s whatever.

Fifty years ago, if you wanted to see a picture of a raccoon, you either had to already have it or drive to a library. And raccoon in a funny hat? Forget about it.

just scheduled my first vaccine appointment... now I won’t be able to tell the difference between my general anxiety, anxiety from living through a global pandemic or anxiety towards needles. very cool.

Weird she’d go into a battle of wits unarmed, but ok.

man, people get some crazy drinks at starbucks

What y’all know bout luxury

take your seats everyone the show’s about to begin

what stage of capitalism is setting the ocean on fucking fire

just realized I don’t have a day off until July 19th 🙃

Imagine what AI powered machines will be able to do in the next 5-10 years. Boston Dynamics machines flawlessly and soulfully dancing in rhythm. x.com/insta_science/…

You’ll tell your kids I invented angsty teen punk rock realness.

Honestly not shocked at all by this Bo Burnham

Been about a year since my last tweet so it feels fitting for it to be that Bo Burnham is my top artist for another year in a row. Stay tuned for my 2023 update…