Kit spelled backwards is "T-I-K" as in "tik-tock" I just wasted time reading this tweet. Welcome, friends. We're gonna have fun.

This sounds like Donald J. Trump is using a Mad Libs generator to write his tweets, again. x.com/realdonaldtrum…

Favorite pastime: wishing people you went to high school with (who aren't moms) a "Happy Mother's Day!" Shit gets weird pretty fast.

I feel like there should be a show called SURVIVOR FINALE that tests people to see who can actually sit through the #Survivor 2-hour finale.

I'm at the age where I debate to tell my friends congrats on the engagement or show me 2 bank statements how are you gonna pay for a family.

I will never be able to decide which is better: #showerbeers or #beershowers.

@BoulderDreams GEORGIE✨ you know it's true!

.train: the official band of dentist offices nationwide.

< when you wake up next to your significant other* *half-eaten breakfast burrito

Most people say "thank you" when a waiter takes away their plate. Most times I have to say "I'm sorry."

.LEGO when will you come out with a replica of #Harambe's cage?