Many thanks SWR Help My son started a new job 2 weeks ago. Thanks to service cancellations at Norbiton every morning he can no longer get to work on time. He is now on a final warning for lateness. Your incompetence has consequences.

Oh dear BBC News (UK) what happened to your research standards? Your flawed car insurance “research” makes false correlation with ethnicity rather than wealth, traffic and accident data. You are going to have to retract. Basic.

Well done BBC South East explaining the London Mayoral elections using joke music and Lego. You assume we are all 6 years old and that those great ideas you thought up while on maternity leave will be brilliant - they are just dumb.

Hey Absolute Radio @FrankOnTheRadio Interesting to hear the news about the end of Frank Skinner’s contract. Will prove to be the dumbest decision. You were lucky to have him and you just ended the only reason to listen to your vacuous station. Bye bye.

Hey BBC News (UK) it appears you are now acting as Sheridan Smiths publicist. Is she paying you? What on earth are you thinking of? Is this news?. All other “news” content now comprises adverts for BBC programming.

Hey Milk & More your driver in Raynes Park 1:15pm driving like a maniac. Take him off the road before he causes a major accident. Tried your complaints system but apparently no one senior is working today. Dreadful service.

Hey Liberal Democrats is Ed Davey really aiming for ridiculous pillock of the year as the bedrock of your campaign? Not a serious party. Lost my vote.

I love the smell of a Labour Government in the morning.

How glorious it will be to have a government of principle the doesn’t operate by demonising public services and the staff who work in them.

Extraordinary - we have a competent adult as Home Secretary. That’s a very welcome change already.

Hey Wimbledon BBC Sport Do you ever think that your continual celebration of celebrities and the elites who seem to have tickets for the tennis for life might be a tiny bit irritating for us plebs watching on our tv? Delighted for them🙄

Hey BBC News (UK) you being royally played with your “Labour landlord” story. Did Robbie dictate this as the lead item? Puppets.

Wow! BBC News (UK) - another day at BBCNews and another anti Labour lead story. Robbie G at work again and BBC “journalists” have given up.

And BBC News (UK) third news story is another rehash of the landlord nonsense from yesterday. Mr Pike showing a little too much of his affiliations.

Hey BBC News (UK) your amazement that the winter fuel story isn’t going away is largely because you keep running it every day as your lead story. Tory stooges.

Hey BBC News (UK) the irony of you featuring the Sue Grey salary “issue” when most of your “talent” earn so much more for minor light weight roles. What do you think the senior COO should earn? Ridiculous.

Hey BBC News (UK) have you lost the plot? Will you be leading all news bulletins with Liam Payne up to Christmas? Rumour has it that there is a rumpus in the Middle East. Just saying.

RT if you're coming to the #ElmbridgeFoodFestival tomorrow Painshill! #FreeEntry #GreatVenue #GreatFood #GreatMusic #GreatKidsActivities

@clairebalding @bbc excruciating and embarrassing comments on world cycling. Stick to sports you understand.

I'm thrilled to be writing an In Town Portishead show. I took this in the centre on Saturday night - simply buzzing.