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hot girl summer is over, get ready for goblin king autumn. we’re making crystals with our hands, we’re turning into owls, we’re stealing babies in the hopes of tricking a lady into our kingdom underground.

this is me btw. when you're being mean to me, this is who you're being mean to.

At Wendy’s they make you put in your order with a soulless robot now and it still comes out wrong. Yay? I hate it here.

“Nosferatwo! Two! Ah-ah-ah!”⚡️⚡️ A new original framed painting and signed prints up on jameshance.com today! ✨🎨(Color Pencil / Gouache on Bristol Board)

My brain in the 45 minutes I have my Invisalign out:

Do something that scares you every day. If you do that, then each day, little by little, you will be scared. Every day will be scary, and your life will be very scary. 💫

Holy shit was Beetlejuice Beetlejuice an abysmal pile of garbage. There are just no words.

whenever a man says “childless women contribute nothing to society,” the ghost of the famously unmarried Jane Austen rises and says, “you are such a disagreeable man that it would be quite a misfortune to be liked by you.”

Henry Bemis did nothing wrong and did not deserve his fate after a lifetime of already dealing with Helen.

This is what I've been shouting for 10 years now.

IN PLACE OF A DARK LORD YOU WOULD HAVE A QUEEN! NOT DARK BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!

Started calling the middle of a loaf of bread “the king’s bread” and saying things like “a cheddar this fine demands the king’s bread!” This is just one of the many ways I have scraped joy out of a cold and unaccountable universe.

I'm at Tijuana Flats and they're playing Bittersweet Symphony and an employee is wearing JNCOs. 1998 is back, baby.

What is this, Noel Fielding's house?