No one: My 13 yr old brother on TikTok:

We can all agree there are a lot of things grown men handle poorly ...but hiccups take the cake.

"feed the cat" - boring - oversimplifies the dynamic - sounds like a chore "fatten the beast" - interesting - pleasing to the ear - gives power where power is due

One cup of coffee: neutral Two cups of coffee: drive Three cups of coffee: sport mode

A concept: Willie Nelson as dumbledore

bring back salsaritas 2020

My boss, on the phone with her husband, trying to order Christmas presents for their kids: “size 5 right?” Me, an eavesdropper: “actually, I’m a 6” My boss: “Townsend we’re talking about soccer balls”

“I don’t know if I’m high on life but I will say I live in a state of feeling like everything is burning down around me” #Overheardatwork

I would like my fashion vibes at all times to be ‘wealthy heiress whose elderly husband died under mysterious (but unproven) circumstances’

Is He Hot Or Does He Just Have An Accent

Me making plans whenever I visit Columbia

“I don’t event know what you do with brandy. Aren’t you supposed to put it in a goblet and suck it down in front of the fireplace or something?” Lol ok mom

Is wearing a beanie a requirement for Starbucks baristas? Asking for a friend.

me, a social media manager, trying to write just one (1) tweet.

Some of these gym rats really do forget we have been social distancing for the last year and a half.

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