the house i grew up in didn't have an "office" it was the Computer Room

not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me

Whitney Cummings had a lightbulb moment while dating a professional athlete. She was arguing with him and said something like, “Why would you date me if I’m the kind of challenge you want?” His blunt reply: “Why would any man want a challenge in his relationship?” That hit her

Pretending to be boring so people can leave you alone is top tier

type of shit im liking now that likes are private

If anyone has taken an L recently do I have news for you

A parasite that has been eating people for 3,500 years is about to be wiped off the planet. It infected 3.5 million people in 1986. Last year, it infected 10. And I have not seen it make a single front page. It is called Guinea worm. You drink contaminated water from a pond in a

dudes be named chris and… well that’s it, dudes actually be named chris LMFAOOOOO

When your girl get a lil drunk and starts telling everyone about you eating her ass with ranch

I’ve been crying at this post for the past 12 hours man

let me make sure i’m understanding this correctly the supreme court is refunding all tariff money back to corporations. the same corporations that didn’t pay a single cent of those tariffs to begin with. they passed every dollar directly to you through higher prices on

Companies pocketing $166 billion in tariff refunds after raising prices on consumers to cover these same tariffs

My old lady when the waitress think I’m a little too funny

no one tells you if your rage builds up enough it turns you gentle

Me all shift: tired, stressed, defeated. Team message: "There's cake in the break room." Me and my coworkers:

Right person wrong time. Right plan wrong mind.