BOSS: Have you sorted the competition prize money? £12,000 isn’t it? ME [CLEARLY WEARING A BRAND NEW £76 BANDANA]: Yeh something like that

It’s so rare when a TV show pulls off having a character who is always right and never does anything wrong but goddamn did they really do it with Don Draper.

get your ass back in the cauldron before you piss me the fuck off even more. get in the soup, boy

when millenials tell you how good batman the animated series was thats a sign of great respect in their culture

New leader of The Opps revealed during AEW Collision ift.tt/3AFTRXG

*Listens to Spawn: The Album soundtrack once*

Seeing Austin Powers on television as a child made me feel extremely, extremely insecure and like the world is just empty, just nothing. I could pass away and it would mean nothing. To anyone

Casual reminder that this is what happens if you have the audacity to insult R4 from Attack of the Clones in front of George Lucas

(activating cyber eyes) What's that thing at the top Surgeon: ah, that's your McDonalds rewards bar. It charges over time, but don't eye-tap the burger button until it's full Me: huh why not (eyes flicker) (flashbang) Sultry female robot voice: insufficient credits, playboy

Worf: Am I MAGA? Or am I… woke Picard: Now is not the time Worf Data: *spins around* Captain, if I may? The two options may not be mutually exclusive Wesley: Impact in fifteen seconds

Due to a clerical error, the mousy mild-mannered xenobiologist woman has been sent to The Planet of Bodacious and Implausibly Promiscuous Babes, while Chet has been sent to The Planet Entirely Populated By Rutting Megafauna Where The Atmosphere Bimbofies You.

"Is macready or childs The Thing at the end?" theorists are idiots. The answer is John Carpenter. It's in the poster. John Carpenter's The Thing. Dumbass

Stacy’s Mom but the words “Stacy’s Mom” are changed to “BD Wong” and nothing else changes

i don’t irish exit, i do the american withdrawal (constantly change my story about when im leaving, if im leaving, who invited me)

Crossing the border from NC into SC

🎬On April 14, 1989, ‘She’s Out of Control’ starring Tony Danza and Ami Dolenz opened in theaters. Siskel & Ebert tore the film to shreds with one of their most brutal two thumbs down ever

Nintendo cannot sleep on this game they are sitting on a fucking gold mine. Cozy life sim games are a growing market among casuals and this could be their next Animal Crossing-level titan. With the right updates, they could have a legitimate competitor to The Sims.

[cloud watching] GIRLFRIEND: That one looks like a ring. ME: I think it looks like two people taking it slow despite the pregnancy.