If eating Nutella counted as studying, I'd be Albert Freaking Einstein rn

A day of my surgery rotation: Me: Hey doc I'm going to the bathroom Attending: first of all read up on small bowel obstruction

*every 2nd year med student*

You have to be a well rounded individual At work: alright let's stop the IV fluids, I'm suspecting that it's the reason for the pulmonary edema. Put them on lasix At the gym: AHHHHHHHHH THE PUMP TOO JUICYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

140: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell 280: mitochondria produce the energy currency of the cell, ATP (phosphorylation of ADP), through respiration, and to regulate cellular metabolism, set of reactions involved in ATP production are collective known as the kreb's cycle

When you come across a low-yield case

The key is to lift heavy weights before surgery so that your attending is too intimidated to pimp you

Also very important to cut off the sleeves off your scrubs to show off your bicep pump x.com/studentdoctorm…

Legally change your name to et al. Enjoy being credited in thousands of academic papers every year.

Scrubbing in for the first time

Pro-Tip: Stitch the "SUPREME" logo onto your white coat for extra swag

When the program director asks you if you have prior lab experience and you remember that you're the 19th author on a paper because you gave a back rub to a masters student once

Found on the wall of a lab...

Me during lecture: How hard can the questions about blood vessel histology be?

This is an intact human nervous system that was dissected by 2 medical students in 1925. It took them over 1500 hours. There are only 4 of these in the world.

When I Check My Student Loan Balance

Today as my attending was filling out my evaluation he asked "what are your weaknesses?" I said "squats". He gave me an A

When your vegan friend says human bodies aren't made to consume animal protein:

Why can't ants get infections? .....They have little anty-bodies

*A wild UWorld appears!*