me: the earth isn’t flat fiat earther: correct me: huh? fiat earther: it’s the shape an italian car me: what? fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn’t you?

gonna start running tomorrow but I’m confused how it works… am I just supposed to literally take off running? that’s so embarrassing 😭

Look no further ladies. Your ideal man has been found.

spoke arabic to the halal truck guy and he charged me extra 😭

taking your keys on a trip feels so silly it’s like hmm yeah lemme bring these just in case where i’m going they have My Door

IT employees when you submit a ticket after you messaged them for help and they told you to submit a ticket

Pregaming princess peach meet n greet

the white house website has a countdown for the big beautiful bill that looks exactly like the domino’s pizza tracker

I do 50 to 60 job interviews in here everyday I never hire anyone But about half the applicants buy a drink from the vending machine after I subtly encourage them to I make $300 a day in passive income with this method

First time I’ve seen a blue Cybertruck. Looks awesome

Travis Kelce’s first texts to Taylor Swift:

I can’t unsee Jay Z looking like he’s recording ppl with his ring. Whoever said that was on point.

This game is a psyop to give me schizophrenia

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July