The First Order has updated our privacy terms. You now have none, as you are always being monitored for possibly being a Resistance infiltrator.

Reminder: Just because the Clone Wars is coming back on the Holonet doesn't mean that you have an excuse to watch it. It's still Republic Propaganda that tarnishes the truth of Emperor Palpatine!

Liked: The glorious, wonderful, powerful First Order! Disliked: The vile, corrupt, weak and decadent Resistance.

Unfortunately, we have had to cancel pay rises for most Imperial employees for budgetary reasons. Unrelated: our 7 brand new EVEN BIGGER Death Stars are all coming along very nicely.

We have shut off the free, unlimited wifi because way too many Stormtroopers are downloading #Fallout76 at once, and it's dragging down the whole system. And why do you need to go into a simulated ruined world when we can just make them?

How is the First Order able to afford building a planet sized superweapon, a supermassive space ship capable of building walkers and weapons, and an entire fleet of star destroyers without the Republic noticing? Come to General Hux's presentation this afternoon to find out!

Reminder: Starkiller Base is supposed to be a SECRET. Turn off location services on your phones to make sure Facebook can't track us so the info will be leaked when they are hacked!

ANYONE WHO REVEALS SPOILERS ABOUT #endgame WILL BE FED TO HUX'S RANCOR. That is all.

The First Order has decided that we have a much better ending for #GameOfTronesFinale... FIRE THE SUPERWEAPON ON WESTEROS!

General Hux has commanded that Order 67 be put into effect. GET HIM A COFFEE. NOW.

Palpatine Palpatine Palpatine Vader Vader Vader Vader Snoke Snoke Totally not saying this because it's required by law... x.com/MentorSkywalke…

My therapist told me "Write letters to the people you hate and then burn them." Did that. But now I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the letters. #StarWars

Anyone who dares to prank Kylo Ren today will be stabbed and sliced 17 times by a lightsaber.

Starkiller Base may want to rethink their #ArborDay celebrations. Starkiller Base PSA

Theory is when you know everything, but nothing works. Practice is when everything works, but no one knows why. In the First Order, both are combined: Nothing works and nobody knows why. #FirstOrderProblems

Yes, blowing up Alderaan was probably awful BUT have you heard the mean jokes this leftist comedian made about Darth Vader? #Disgrace

#MayThe4thBeWithYou Now get back to work.

Somehow Kylo Ren's drawings have been found and uploaded to the holonet... x.com/DepressedDarth…