and it’s jd vance’s group chat

my manager asked me what poppers are like during a conversation about astrology

houthi and the blowfish

more men look at instagram reels than eat stew

i’m touring apartments rn is this a sign

when i go to the thrift store for furniture i sit on all the pieces until i sit on one that activates a deep spiritual religious calling that guides me to the check out

for the second apartment in a row the oven is leaking

current twitter alone should give you enough reasons to hate elon musk

my friend did a house drinking game and it’s making me want to do a veep one…..

my social security card is no longer lost please clap

these people love to yell on their porches

for the second time my professor told me i communicate like his 10 year old grandchild

it’s my birthday and all i did was go outside and watch animals

sarah took me to a non binary ass bar and is having me proofread

watched a woman get the ick in real time bc this dude said he volunteered with homeland security and she laughed and he was like no i actually did

they hate me because i got back from the bar to their apartment and started slapping my stomach and burping and it made their cat scared for no reason

this is supposed to be prosecco

spongebob big guy pants ok