I’m just mad Shane Dawson’s cancellation isn’t called “The ‘Shame’ Dawson movement”

Reggie

Kings

Queens

Inbetweens

Das why they call us single men, rocket science

It’s insane how relatable this is

Did everyone move to twitter?

But I gotta continue to be good, so I gotta sacrifice being a person

I'm coming, no problem 👍

Infinity War is small scale at this point

Facebook blocked me for 30 days. Now im stuck with 240 characters. That’s enough for me to make some dick jokes at least. Hey there baby girl

The Twitter mascot is a bird, because birds aren’t real. Same with Twitter.

Sorry I don’t know where the clitoris is???? It’s not on Google Maps, wtf do you expect of me???

I’m glad Twitter has free speech so I can call Tucker Carlson a cunt

My rabbit died today and I’m absolutely heart broken..

I’m like everyone else. I put my pants on one leg at a time! But with my dick in a hotdog bun. That’s why I’m a bit better

Half of what I follow on Twitter is porn, so I be typing with my right hand (I’m left handed)

You just had to be there

Kermit the frog confirmed to return in Avengers Doomsday (Source - @mytimetoshinehello)