If u breathe u owe the new york times $1.99.

it’s cause you’re always on that damn spectrum

Men are so mortifying i cannot believe i have to find a way to love one.

I really like u and all but, full transparency, i used to date the moon

“He used to dm me”. Ok ugly he used to be a baby too

U ever succ ur man’s nipples? (Exactly)

Omg barbie ruined summer fr

i’m sorry miss jackson /: i am fr

Dam watching the Warriors and Timberwolves fight with a 0-0 score 2 minutes in just made me realize it really is holiday season

I just wanna know if my lizard actually loves me.

Sorry i didnt beat u up when u wanted me to, i just had a job and a life n shit goin on.

More like Less Bamba

I feel like Just For Men is exclusively bought by biches that need to dye their eyebrows?

Why is nobody in the UFCs walkout song chumbawumba? danawhite plz respond

He hard posted me, therefore I am.

Where does love go wen it dies? Unrelated: i had to deliver zach toilet paper while he was pooping

Me talking to my boss: “Can i rewrite this for you so that it is good?”

Do the art hoes have jobs now or are they still around?