Carti: i’m scared of getting this slime transplant Thug: it’s ok my love, i’ll be here after your procedure *Carti wakes up after surgery and sees a nurse* Carti: where is Thugger? he said he’d be here nurse: who do you think gave you the slime??

Dolphins are currently 10000-1 to win the Super Bowl 🚨🚨🚨 x.com/br_betting/sta…

$900 for drake floor tickets?? He better sit on my lap and sing Marvin’s room like he miss me 🙄

needed this

Them: Your Dolphins are lookin like the real deal this year! Me:

zach wilson heard like 100 million hoes are gonna be watching and decided to be the man, that’s awesome

Looking at that one hoodie as soon as it starts getting cold

type of shit i been on lately

the middest girl you know and the most out of shape dude dressing up as taylor and travis for halloween

night shift workers when they see the time go back an hour

“White people have no drip” Then explain this

Used Kewpie mayo instead of Hellman's for my sandwich

my girl walking me out of costco after i ate 6 hot dogs