fuck

dude LMAOOO

what tf happened and why is bro just standing there 😭😭

TODAY

hello new congressman and senators good to meet you I will be harassing you for the next few years

bitch You smell like a new pack of pokemon cards

dudes love to cook a big ass pot of chili and eat nothing but that for the next four days

I sleep with a gun for the off chance that Jar Jar Binks breaks into my home

(Cognitive behavioral therapy enjoyer I just cut off in traffic) Think positively. He is probably in a rush for a reason. Maybe he’s late for a job interview. Maybe his wife is giving birth Me: I’m da king of da highway

BURROWHEAD LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

a PlayStation 2

the grammys are irrelevant unless an artist i like wins one

We hit a bump and now everyone on the bus knows that my briefcase is just filled with hotdogs

fdny vs nypd hockey ACAB lmfao

Nu metal era was the last time Americans had any sense of common identity/class consciousness so the cia and mi6 invented John Mayer and Coldplay so young men would buy messenger bags and study creative writing instead of getting into fist fights and making co2 bombs in the yard

We're the only wagon in this town

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are my cocaine, heroin, meth, weed, alcohol, caffeine, sex and ecstasy.

big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck