90 fiancé, more like 90 day chimpanzé

if you don’t have a bidet, kill yourself

if 2008 kanye was featured on brat “im a brat, she a brat. if my ex see my ex she gon’ be a brat.”

y’all not hearing me, this is exactly what he’d say.

simply not prepared for 2 years of seeing this pfp attached to the stupidest takes i've ever seen

where do I put tie I have an interview

God is a transgender orange cat

“i guess it’s like a viral video where bozo dubs over”

gimme 5-6 months i’m going to have the sluttiest waist known to man

14 years working in good ass restaurants my post gym meals are on a different level than y’all. you hoes can’t even SPELL polenta!

it turns out there’s literally nothing better for your mental health than a fresh arm pump

i really like it when patrick calls spongebob “sponge” like a little nickname or something. really shows how close they are as friends.

john turturro you have to stop. you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your bitch too bad. they’ll kill you.

Hours later I’m realizing he’s got one of the test tube babies with him, this mf is fAegon

doing mardi gras sober taught me that you don’t need drugs when drums exist