Sorry. Not sorry.

Give us the edit feature we've wanted forever and we'll think it over.

I thought I was going insane but the consensus is the new Instagram update is actual shit. I can't scroll more than a few pics and the feed is now mostly reels, which I hate. Byeeeeeeeeee!

I'm surprised TD (Canada) didn't hang me upside down from my ankles and shake the change out of my pockets. Kinda gross.

I think my passport needs to be renewed in 2026. Should I apply now?

It's a dark day, my friends. I'm angry and heartbroken.

I love how streaming services always ask me who's watching like they optimistically anticipate a change in my dating/child status.

We have taken a step back to women being considered property.

The best thing about Avenue 5 is Josh Gad borrowing Vince Neil's look.

There it is!

One of these days my stubbornness will lead to my demise and I'll be found under a big piece of furniture I tried to move myself. Today was not that day.

Life Tip #247 If you have to use an allen key you will drop it repeatedly and it will make you feel like you're drunk when you're not. Therefore: You may as well drink before using one...because the result will be the same.

I just want to take all of the counselling dialogue from john in The Patient and make it one big, relaxing, let it all go, ASMR loop. Drift me off to sleep, Steve, while I work out my family issues. And as a bonus maybe I won't kill someone.

My big takeaway from The Patient on Disney+ is that apparently serial killers pee. A LOT.

Just here eating popcorn while Elon Musk continues to say:

There are two types of people in this world. Those that immediately picture The Huxtables on the stairs when they hear (Night Time Is) The Right Time by Ray Charles. And those that don't.

I legit thought this was a story about Pete Davidson until I read the headline.

Is Ryan Reynolds trying to top up his retirement fund doing some modeling on the side for Specsavers ?

Jenny Slate and Dean Fleisher Camp deserve a huge 🙌 for slipping a tampon into Marcel The Shell with Shoes On 😂🤣

If you haven't hate-watched the second season of Yellowjackets like I have yet, I'll save you a ton of time. This is literally the only moment worth watching. Don't have a heart-attack...no spoilers.