👤The Unlikely Ally followed you ✉️Direct Message from The Unlikely Ally It would seem our interests align... for now. 📎temporary_truce.pdf

Crystal Servant unit voicelines: "I serve the Crystal." "For the Crystal." "The Crystal wills it." On death: [sound of a crystal exploding]

This tweet is going to be tapped a lot today

Nicotine (administered through a reusable vaporising device) provides the alertness, the crystalline mental acuity. Beer yings the yang, so to speak, placing you in a den of kindly feeling. But the picture isn’t complete before the Thumb navigates to a most amusing YouTube Short

(Me): so, we create this "virtual memory" to trick processes into thinking they have a contiguous address layout (Medieval peasant): Would not thy abstraction swell the tally of mem'ry lookups? (Me): well, yes. to deal with that we created the "translation lookaside buffer"

I think its a strategically bad move to talk like this instead of embracing the anger of the moment even if you are correct

Penguins meet a cat for the first time ever:

Whenever I see something like this I think about how scared and perhaps awed I would be if a human wrote it

bf is just a cat with fridge access

my friend: [snapping fingers at group of strangers] yo, check out what my boy’s got going on. cmon, show em me: [playstation voice] play-station

If you've got more than one person in your friend group who can solve a Rubik's cube you've got to diversify. You've got to add a guy that's never heard of Microsoft Word or something like that

Just overheard my boyfriend meowing scary monsters and nice sprites while he’s making pizza

Was playing smash bros with my godson and his Dad tells him if he gets one stock off me then he doesn’t have to eat his vegetables. Slim I cooked him so bad he started crying, this is what I do this for. This is why I love the game. Gon head and eat them veggies son

discord betrayed you? lol, I wouldn’t know, I’ve been self-hosting an open source voip server for the past fifteen years. it’s super low-latency and has much better chat tools than whatever your precious “nitro subscription” gets you. and as soon as I make even one friend,

I turned on Meta AI’s auto reply for Facebook Marketplace. I listed an item for $75, and when someone asked if it was available, the AI replied asking if they wanted it for free. I knew Meta’s AI was not great, but I did not expect it to be this bad.

350 degrees, 400 degrees, etc. All classic examples of oven temperatures

First we had one child and I thought I knew what children are like. Our second child was completely different; I’d overgeneralized. There are actually two types of children.

if I had tourettes my tics would be shouting "trans rights", "vote", and "black lives matter" because I'm a good fucking person

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns