I did go out the other day and saw that Swansea has changed so much in the last few years, but then realised I’d fallen asleep on the bus and had awoke in Cardiff

I often think about when I was as school. Teachers use to say that I’d never learn anything. And you know what – they were right

Gran said "Siadwell, you start from the bottom and work your way up." But is that really the best way to teach me how to swim?

As a kid I dreamed of becoming a cyborg like the ‘Six Million Dollar Man’, but I changed my mind when I realised it would cost me an arm and a leg

I’ve been reading a really good book recently on how to take the piss out of birds of prey, it’s called ‘To mock a killing bird’

So here it is. Merry Christmas everyone. Look to the future as it’s probably been repeated on BBC1

Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away – that’s really irresponsible of you given the state of the NHS, and I had to find a new heart to replace mine

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? I really can’t tell as I’m deaf in one ear and have tinnitus in the other

“So this is Christmas and what have you done?” Seriously, what have you been doing all year? I’ve been round at Nan’s eating some of her bottom scrapings

A Merry Christmas and a really Siadwel New Year to everyone who has re-tweeted, followed and favourited me this year - Thank you all - Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

I see that teachers don’t like Ofsted giving their schools one-word reviews. Ironic really when teachers have been giving kids one letter reviews for years

Nan is very house proud and is always cleaning. She says that the toilet is so clean I can eat my dinner off it

When I was little, my parents couldn’t afford sky, often as not I’d be locked in the cupboard under the stairs and I would imagine that the cobwebs were clouds

A very unpleasant person recently told me to go back to where I came from but my dad’s testicles are a really bit old and wrinkled now

Don’t worry if your A level results aren’t what you were hoping for. My granddad started off on the factory floor and after 25 years of hard work was made redundant

A Merry Christmas and a really Siadwel New Year to everyone who has re-tweeted, followed and favourited me this year - Thank you all - Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

Really looking forward to some of Nan’s Christmas dinner. This year she has promised only the best of her bottom scrapings

My big toenail came off the other day, so I put it under my pillow and sure enough the Toenail Fairy came in the night and gave me a shiny 50p

A Merry Christmas and a really Siadwel New Year to everyone who has re-tweeted, followed and favourited me this year - Thank you all - Nadolig Llawen a Blwyddyn Newydd Dda