If you didn’t already think our healthcare system is broken…

soooo sorry to well off nyc women but getting ghosted is not a feminist issue

This is adding up to a possble Buffalo Bills home AFC championship game. Not enough beer in the world

I just scrolled so far Twitter just stopped showing me tweets. A baffling new low in a life full of misses. Go 49ers!

Dear Roger Goodell Please adopt college football overtime rules. Every single person outside of Kansas City wishes Josh Allen had the ball in his hands right now. As a Patriots fan I benefited from this rule a few years ago. I knew it stunk then. My father hates me. Thank you.

wanna reiterate this because i’ve seen people defend the overtime format for no reason. it sucks. i’d trade my team taking the loss tonight if it meant getting rid of it. i want sports to be a short stupid recess from the arbitrary unfairness of the world, not a simulation of it

Planning a one-week trip in July as if I have 2 million dollars.

4 months ago I thought there would never be a more boring beef than Drake v. Kanye. Behold, from the ashes rose Young v. Rogan. Never short of amazed at white people’s ability to appropriate.

Hey guys, 900 different ways to cancel Kanye if you really want. Unfortunately this ain’t it. Hilarious.

If woke culture has spread to ‘We must protect Pete Davidson from verbal assault’ then it is back to the drawing board folks.

Watching one of my favorites tonight, IYKYK.

Sometimes you don’t even have to watch something know it’s totally Epic sauce. Which is why I’m choosing to skip this one.

If the Texas freeze prevents me from seeing Jackass tomorrow night I am suing the state for war crimes. Yeah, AGAIN.

Congrats to Sam Elliott for making Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It!'s Power of the Dog take look way less problematic now podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/and…

Cockroaches are scary as hell ‘cause they can hear you. They combine my two greatest fears: Insects and being caught by the person you’re talking shit about.

Here it is!!! Our latest feature article in Austin Chronicle !! Featuring input from Andrew Murphy and I’m Sticking To It! @dustinsvehlak Ramin Nazer & Helium Comedy Club austinchronicle.com/arts/2022-07-2…