Earlier this couple on my golf cart were talking and the husband goes “Honey I made sure to wipe the water off my seat but not yours”. She responded with “don’t be a dick bro” and they kissed. And that’s when I saw my future.

A&M gave us an education to not say dumb shit like this.

If the Grinch's heart can grow 3 sizes in 1 day I'm pretty sure my professor can raise my C to an A

ladies what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in a boy’s bathroom? allow me to start

High school parties on movies are so fake. Like who really had a party in a mansion or at a big fancy pool with everyone dancing? Every party I went to was either a bonfire in Timmy's field or a throw down in Bobby's shop.

Let me just share something. In the last 5 weeks I have seen Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Rhode Island, Connecticut, NY, NJ, Massachusetts and New Hamp. And you know what? God Bless Texas. That is all.

Someone come get their grandma. She’s riding her wheelchair down the middle of the freeway in Philadelphia.

On stage: Johnny Cash: “Hello, I’m Johnny Cash” Parker McCollum : “My names Parker McCollum, I’m from Austin Texas” Koe Wetzel: “I wrote this next song with my Penis, naked in a Wendy’s parking lot”

Every Game of Thrones fan when Arya took out the Night King #GameOfThrones

This is why I’ll never leave twitter

The flight attendant really made this flight full of Aggies sing the war hymn before taking off to #BTHOClemson

All week: Don’t let yourself believe we can do it, it will only break your heart Friday: Fuck it we’re beating Clemson

idk what the cat is going through but same

We don’t deserve him.

I want to be in the meeting where this idea was proposed

The #Reds today added to the 40-man roster RHP Tejay Antone, RHP Ryan Hendrix, RHP Tony Santillan and C Tyler Stephenson. The 40-man roster is now at 39.