I ignore all of my texts yet complain that no one ever texts me I deserve to be alone

I need to stop calling every man i’m vaguely attracted to my “boyfriend” however also my boyfriend needs to text me back right now i’m feeling rejected

Charles Entertainment Cheese

my dog: *exists* me:

HOW TO GET FREE CANDY FROM CANDY MACHINE!! WORKS EVERY SINGLE TIME

I guess we will just never solve the mystery of who stole the cookie...🤷‍♂️ x.com/JesusChrysler1…

are you in the right headspace to receive a milkshake that could possibly bring the boys to the yard

Entering 2020 with this energy

Why am I like this

GYM TIP: Work out smart, not hard! A lot of people at the gym go and lift the big weights. But actually, the small weights are lighter and much easier to lift.

does anyone have a recommendation? just in general

if it ever seems like i’m only doing something for attention just know you’re right and that’s exactly why I’m doing it

Imagine: you graduate from Bow. Years later you’re on the bachelor and get to hometowns. You take him to the com for the Sunday music shows, show him trees, and end the night eating a bagel with an iced coffee from Dunkin. He cancels the show because he lost all faith in love.

Samoas are the superior Girl Scout cookie