Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile
Shawn Braley

@shawn_braley

Listening is an act of love. Teacher. Stand Up Comedian. Show Producer. Long Story Short. Cincy Stories. I’m probably worrying about whether or not you like me.

ID: 41925700

linkhttp://cincystories.org calendar_today22-05-2009 23:24:08

2,2K Tweet

530 Followers

515 Following

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Stoked to be on this show with Graham Elwood at The Comet with Bombs Away! Comedy! If you don’t know him, get hip to him. Comedy Film Nerds was one of my favorite early podcasts I’d listen to while delivering pizzas. This show will likely make me crave pizza and tips - come hang!

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My mom asked me what to call the woman I am dating since I’ve been divorced and am in my 30’s. I said partner. So now my mom is always like, “how are you and your howdy partner doing?”

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

They call it a bi week when your team takes a week off in the NFL because it’s at least a little gay to ever take a break.

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

There’s a two week gap between when I started having wet dreams and when I knew what a wet dream was. Because of that, there’s also a 2 week period of my life where I was 100% positive ghosts were real and their unfinished business was finishing me.

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Times are rough, but at least you live in a universe where one of the most popular songs of all time contains the lyric “suckin’ on a chili dog.”

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If I were the news and was bad at my job but in a fun way, I’d write an article about this with a headline that reads: “Jordan Peterson Finds It Is Almost Impossible to Find Child Porn on Twitter”

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Did you guys see Smokey the Bear is hot now? I’m not into it. Makes it feel like he’s bullying me into preventing wildfires.

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Why is it that people who put truck nuts on their F-150 are also always against trans rights? Was your truck born with those balls? Your truck is trans, dude!

Shawn Braley (@shawn_braley) 's Twitter Profile Photo

We’ve reached the stage of capitalism where we’re making movies about the origins of products. We’ve got Air. We’ve got Madden. I’m trying to secure the rights to the origins of slinky as we speak.