Come hang with us in the Garage!

Getting charged for therapy while waiting for the Mike Birbiglia show to start feels right

All this blink-182 hubbub reminded me to listen to more Alkaline Trio again. Pretty happy about it.

Stoked to be on this show with Graham Elwood at The Comet with Bombs Away! Comedy! If you don’t know him, get hip to him. Comedy Film Nerds was one of my favorite early podcasts I’d listen to while delivering pizzas. This show will likely make me crave pizza and tips - come hang!

My mom asked me what to call the woman I am dating since I’ve been divorced and am in my 30’s. I said partner. So now my mom is always like, “how are you and your howdy partner doing?”

They call it a bi week when your team takes a week off in the NFL because it’s at least a little gay to ever take a break.

Fainting goats are the GOATs of fainting.

There’s a two week gap between when I started having wet dreams and when I knew what a wet dream was. Because of that, there’s also a 2 week period of my life where I was 100% positive ghosts were real and their unfinished business was finishing me.

Times are rough, but at least you live in a universe where one of the most popular songs of all time contains the lyric “suckin’ on a chili dog.”

If I were the news and was bad at my job but in a fun way, I’d write an article about this with a headline that reads: “Jordan Peterson Finds It Is Almost Impossible to Find Child Porn on Twitter”

Did you guys see Smokey the Bear is hot now? I’m not into it. Makes it feel like he’s bullying me into preventing wildfires.

Are you there God? It’s-a-me, Mario!

Why is it that people who put truck nuts on their F-150 are also always against trans rights? Was your truck born with those balls? Your truck is trans, dude!

We’ve reached the stage of capitalism where we’re making movies about the origins of products. We’ve got Air. We’ve got Madden. I’m trying to secure the rights to the origins of slinky as we speak.