Norm Macdonald- “Did you know you were a CIS male? Have you ever heard of that term? What it means is you were born a man, and you identify yourself as a man. Guest- “I don’t understand. Is this a new phrase?” Norm- “Yes. It’s a way of marginalizing a normal person.” 😂

We’re aware of a fraudulent call that’s been made appearing to come from our 0800 40 50 40 number. We’ll never call you from our 0800 number, and we’ll never ask for confidential details or money to be sent over the phone. Ever in doubt? Call us or text 61016.

The comments on this! 😆

I got papped by loads of spotters today at Edale Station as I was on the platform with my 156 as The Blue Peter went steaming through. #bluepeter. #steamtrains

Great days.

Some great results today in the women's fa cup. One result was AFC Portchester Ladies 19 - 0 Weymouth FC Women 😲

I was just in the queue in a small local shop when a lady burst through the door and shouted towards the till - from the doorway! - “SORRY, DO YOU SELL VICTORIA SPONGE CAKE?!” The cashier replied, “No.” The lady yelled, “THEY DON’T SELL IT!” back to someone waiting outside, then

Picked up tickets for tomorrows match. If we don't beat the bottom of the league then I don't know what we do.

When I make toast I leave it to go cold then I apply the butter and marmalade. The butter doesn't melt that way and tastes so much better. #toptips

The funniest thing about all of this is if you are the victim of a crime and you call the police, or even if you put the work in and track down the criminal yourself and call the police like "hey I found the guy I'm literally outside his house and I can literally see my stolen

I'm sick of David Attenborough's voice tbh.

Hartley Hare used to give me bad dreams.

I've had more apps wish me a happy birthday than people.

The phrase, My training kicked in makes me groan.

Currently in Northern Ireland.

I need more details about the Louvre heist because this sounds way too easy. What do you mean they just climbed up and cut a hole in the glass? That’s how Bugs Bunny would steal from a museum.

Holy Shit, it turns out i'm a Dad!!

Every year we get ignorant comments about leaf fall. There's no point explaining it anymore.