If I ever get fired, I'm gonna give my my boss some coffee. Call that grounds for dismissal.

This is my car spider, Scary Terry. He's named that because he likes to pop out of random vents Everytime I drive. I'd like to know what he is (some kind of jumper?) When I first met him, I tried to pay some random teenagers at a gas station to remove him but his vent expertise

Images that precede historic events

🏆 CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD! 🇿🇦 A 5 wicket victory! The Proteas Men have conquered the Test arena, winning the ICC World Test Championship 2025 Final against Australia at the iconic Lord’s Cricket Ground 🏟️🙌 Undeniable. Unstoppable. Unrelenting. History made at the Home of

If you cook something in water instead of oil, why is it boiled and not bwatered?

Scrolling through my tweets and turns out this is true to this day 😭

I love whatever is wrong with this viral AI companion named Merv

Jane Goodall died today. While smarter and more informed people will talk about her work, I want to share a snippet from her Wikipedia page - the two greatest paragraphs ever on Wikipedia. The first parts are amusing and interesting, but the last sentence elevates it to high art.

“i asked chatgpt-” NEXT TIME DON’T. ask ME, choose ME, i can misinform you. i do it with love and affection

The Louvre robbers didn’t sell you TikTok supplements or a wealth building seminar for $399. They pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and went out and stole some shit from rich people the old fashioned way. Those are the real men and providers

Appreciation post for Laura for her effect.💙

Manipulating people into trusting me by being transparent and honest and following through on the things I say

What I’m hearing here is that bazball is good praxis and sensible test batting is hyper capitalist violence against the poor

Mary en Joseph is al op 'n donkie oppad Bethlehem toe en ek sit in' n fokken meeting.

they’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. santa’s been delivering gifts in japan for hours by now; that list is locked, do whatever you want.

Ah, well, the thing is, when I said we should "circle back to this in the new year", you have to understand that I genuinely thought this day would never come. I thought holiday forever

I console myself thinking about all the young men in my country, powerful in their youth and confident in their immortality, who are encountering a Proteas semi-final for the first time. Good. Look upon the void and join us in it.

First they came for the em dash and I did not speak out. Then they came for the Oxford comma…

Might try running a marathon now that I know it can be done in less than two hours

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns