me, as a child: *walks into the kitchen covered in my own blood holding a rabbit I fought from a hawk* my mom, on the phone: *mouthing* I’m on the phone

I’m locked out of my dogs Facebook account that i created in 2010 and they won’t let me back in unless I send over a copy of his drivers license

The year is 2030. Bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. The uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. I go to hug my wife for comfort. She is cake.

a single sour patch kid would kill a pilgrim instantly

When someone asks “what is Terraforms?” send them this video youtu.be/U2xTl5pPHwk

Can't believe they are going to make a MAN queen. This woke nonsense has gone too far.

Emma G. Fitzsimmons Thanks for unleashing Kansas Twitter upon the world! Truth is, we have a brand, and it’s inspired by our state motto, “Ad astra per aspera,” or ‘To the stars through difficulties.’ Kansans live and breathe this every day, so thanks for the opportunity to share it. #ToTheStarsKS

An interesting development in the Kim <> Kanye saga

Russell Wilson: "Broncos Country.. Let's Ride!" The Ride:

Welcome to 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗧𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥 When you receive 𝟰𝟮𝟬 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦 you will earn 𝟭 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗞 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞. When you earn 𝟲𝟵 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗞 𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗦 you can say 𝗔 𝗦𝗟𝗨𝗥

In just their second year of existence, KC Current have become the first team in National Women’s Soccer League history to go from last place to competing in the championship game in a year. Ahead of their game vs. Portland Thorns FC at 7 p.m., we took a look at how the Current got here. #TealRising 🧵

I have made calls this morning to winning candidates on the left and right in Missouri and Kansas. My message is simple. I look forward to working with anyone who is working to make Kansas City and our nation better by uplifting all our communities. I hope all join us in doing so

I’m Toppy Eton. l create intertextual 2D artworks - from the meme cinematic universe to the pixel plain. toppyeton.art/peach 🌷

Riding with you SuperRare.💎👊💎 “DO NOT…” by Moxarra Gonzalez

An open letter from Royals Chairman and CEO John Sherman.

BREAKING: Kansas City Royals owner John Sherman announces team is planning to leave Kauffman Stadium and start exploration for a final location for a $2 billion stadium and entertainment district. kshb.com/sports/royals-…

Many fun outputs during tonight's first course even (composition by @9neonlines) Doomsday on the timeline, meanwhile, Terraforms collectors learning to code via p5.js in our course. Feels good

On a scale of corn to manycorn how impressed are you by my new corn-based number system

At the Ministry of Forbidden Jokes, I am led past a door marked 'Updog'. I say nothing. Behind a one-way mirror my handler nods, impressed.