You know who really makes me cross? The lollipop lady

I like my hummus how I like my men

'Breakfast please'

'Full English?'

'Hello, I would like a breakfast please'

David Byrne + Union Chapel = YES

If Lionel Richie converted to Islam, and opened a butcher’s shop, the headline would be ‘HALAL, IS IT MEAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR?’

I’ll stop now (begrudgingly)

MARK LAMARR, NO! YOUR LIKES ARE PUBLIC! MAAAARK!

Mmmm, I dunno, the guys who are wrong about everything seem pretty confident this time.

Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman? Unclear

George Formby is the definitive George (ukulele sold separately)

I’ve changed my mind. It’s ’call me Mister Flintstone, cos I can make your bed rock’

An anagram of 'London Marathon' is 'Anal Donor Month'.

Of course, I remember when it was called ‘The London Snickers’