I don't want to be bold and controversial, but Citizen Kane really is a very good film. The only problem with it is its target audience is 'people who have already seen Citizen Kane'.

People who were hoping to see my Liverpool show on Saturday: I'm really sorry, but it's been rescheduled for June 29th due to an issue with the venue. Sorry for the short notice! Ticket holders should have received an email, and I hope you can make the new date.

This short dramatic piece is now on YouTube, for the discerning ABK viewer: youtu.be/g7f-4M1PcUQ

It's a timeless truth.

When everything's risen in price so much in the last few years, it's reassuring to know one thing hasn't, the price of my labour wait hang on a minute what the fuck

Once part of our Comedy Club line-up and now on his own tour, say hello to Alasdair Beckett-King, straight off the back of his sold-out shows at Edinburgh Fringe. Fri 3 May: bit.ly/46DYsRU

The multi-award-winning stand-up comedian has performed on the BBC's Mock the Week, Comedy

My Edinburgh Festival Fringe show is now on sale at Pleasance Comedy. I have a bunch of WIPs booked in including this Sat 20th April at the Rosemary Branch in East London at 7pm. Come along for nostalgia and lolz. Pic by Julings ticket link rosemarybranchtheatre.co.uk/show/jeans-and…

How English people sound in England Vs Anywhere else in the world

'To avoid complications, she never kept the same address' - That would actually make things a lot more complicated. It's all very well being a Killer Queen, try registering with a dentist.

FIVE YEARS ago today, we released Heaven's Vault.

It's discounted on Steam this week, but here's a celebratory thread about how it came to be!

Tonight!

The nudes
They escaped the bios
Yes
YES
The nudes are out

Who The Fu*k Is Playing These

I really hate the bot that says, 'I have a far better gift in my bio 💦'. Leave me alone, I'm trying my best! People can enjoy my little jokes AND your hot robot pics.

Imagine I did a spoof of the joker lipstick video, but instead of the smile it would be giving myself eyebrows, with the caption 'THIS is cinema'. I'm not at home, so I can't film it. Real shame.

F.A.O. Brighton folk. Please find enclosed:

I feel like my freelance journo friends read legal documents and call senator’s offices 80 hours a week and every salaried journalist is just like, “we need to talk about my friend Becca who is like so annoying”

japanese horror: the house is makes you kill yourself
american horror: the house kills you if you have sex
french horror: the house kills you by having sex with you
uk horror: Reece Shearsmith lives in the house and is weird