From Alan Bennett’s diary -

Charlie Elphicke MP: SAVE FINGLESHAM FIELDS - Sign the Petition! chng.it/DBrrywtd via Change.org UK

I’ve signed up to be the first to know how to vote tactically for a #PeoplesVote if there’s an election, so we the people can solve this Brexit crisis. Will you? #VT4PV #LetUsBeHeard

Para 61 - no discernible reason. A little disingenuous perhaps. We all know the disgraceful reason.

Anyone else having low to no broadband speed? I’m with TalkTalk and never had this problem before.

My 75 year old father has yet to hold his first grandchild - my 12 week old baby boy. If that moon faced prick Dominic Cummings doesn’t fuck off down a manhole by tonight then something is seriously wrong with the universe.

Come on BBC - step up and tell it like it is. No more craven crap towards this leaderless apology for a government.

Anyone else tried Times Radio? I gave it a brief listen - that sycophantic interview with our apology of a PM, and Mariella Frostrup pretending to be useless and expecting to be sacked - before realising that Radio Four has nothing to worry about.

Happy to announce the publication of my novel The Crimson Pantomime - check it out here: amazon.co.uk/Crimson-Pantom… If you buy - and enjoy it - please spread the word! Many thanks xxx

Scary talk.

America - you did it!

Throughout history Britain’s ruling class has created crisis after crisis – just like now | John Harris theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

We’ll see, Mr Elliott, only time will tell. theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Here's a little something starring @vlavla @Charitchie Charity Wakefield 🕷 @JadeAnouka #gethinanthony Michael Lindall #aiyshahart Amit Shah nadia albina & #davidnewman #fiveveryshortfilmsonlove #valentinesday2021 #love vimeo.com/512156299

News for the makers of WORDLE: Favour is spelt with a U. In the UK it isNOT a five letter word.

This is going to be a fun evening - and I dare say you will recognise a few faces. Tickets available now for Celebrity Ding Dong with Westdal & Hayward 👥 featuring Rupert Frazer Sophie Doherty and @sanjitchudha and more! x.com/Westdal_Haywar…

#MAGSsoniaboyce ‘In Pursuit of Beauty’ Gannaway said the title was a bad one. Really? Then I must have been leading a ‘bad’ life. And since when are those nymphs passive?!

The Antipodeans by Greg McGee | Eye Books eye-books.com/books/the-anti…

This looks like it would be worth a visit. Redefining Photography | Andreas Gursky youtu.be/CdOxpTARGx4 via YouTube

‘Left Bank Pictures, the producers of The Crown, have apologised to Matt Smith and Claire Foy after it was revealed Smith was paid more for his part in the Netflix show. “The actors are not aware of who gets what,” it said.’ Of course not. Actors talking to each other? Never