the CIA has infiltrated my family and installed a US backed cousin

The cigarette I smoked a few weeks ago is finally working on me. I finally have “that buzz.”

Good job to whoever came up with the names clay, silt, and loam. Those ones are great

There’s always that one annoying guy at a house party that finds the Chapman Stick and starts playing Elephant Talk by King Crimson

Your low end isn't 'muddy'—it's jam packed with your love. And honestly, that's the way to go.

it’s really something to see all these western “leftists” just going about their lives as the empire they prop up commits unspe— (getting laid) Joy is a revolutionary act,

Guy that pronounces Iran and Iraq properly but pronounces Italy as Eye-taly

hey baby you like uh… (opens my satchel and 17 tiny clay men scramble out running in all directions) oh fuck! grab them! fuck!

guy who thinks its flaming yong instead of filet mignon

getting a master’s degree in baroque sandwich art

not right now, funk soul brother

Taking a break from Trader Joe’s. Cashier asked if I wanted a bag or if I’d be using “nature’s carriers” while doing jazz hands

if u say no to pretzels, the flight attendant should give u something called a Coin of Restraint. while worth nothing now, these coins will play a major role in the afterlife

You have such a way with worms

U smoking hamster bedding

stripper name pole atreides

Suckingham Phallus

The stretch between 4/20 and Earth Day is like hippie ramadan

oh fuck yes rice and some bullshit