Got my prostate checked today and my man really greased up with gel from a tube labeled SurgiLube

Currently distraught because the onions I’m pickling are not very good this time :(

Speed running the stages of grief to power level my therapist

You know what they say about legumes. Makes a leg out of u and me

Fool me once and I’ll turn the other cheek but fool me twice and vengeance I’ll wreak

Some people get to be mentally ill in ways that make them charming and quirky but I’m actually just insufferable

If my name was George I would spell jorts, georts

Good morning! Roseburg returns on October 7th. Love, Zach, Sam, Keith, and Soren xx 💚

fuck

Roseburg proudly presents the first of many new songs, ‘Alice’ on October 7 🌹 Pre-Save: distrokid.com/hyperfollow/ro…

It’s out! open.spotify.com/track/566cQ5Nt…

Made a motivational poster for spawning salmon😌

Roseburg is back! Listen to ‘Alice’ 💚🌹 roseburgband.com

Being liberal in utah is great bc when I get depressed enough to stop showering I can just say I’m reducing my water usage to help the great salt lake, and then instead of being shamed for being a greasy little gremlin boy I will be praised for being a greasy little gremlin boy

Choose your fighter

My times-woken-up-to-pee-per-night ratio has tripled and my knuckles have approached surface consistency of bloody rough grit sandpaper, the mysterious fiend siphoning my moisture is merciless. In my raisin era fr

We’re bringing back poggers