BREAKING: Plank Road Piranhas bullpen discovered at the Webster Rec Center tennis courts. Fallen apart duct tape and weak structure on the zone could show signs of Piranha pitchers to be wild in their upcoming games.

BREAKING: Sources say Buttermilk Beets crushed Plank Road Piranhas in their scrimmage yesterday. Final score unknown, possibility it was not being counted after Beets were up by too much. Direct quote “piranhas got crushed in [the] scrim” from Isaac Buckley of the Beets.

BREAKING: Maris Mystery drop a game to the Panthers. The division seems to be opening up for the Slimes. After a tough week 1 the Slimes look to bounce back with 2 W’s in week 2. The future is bright for the Slimes and cloudy for the Mystery.

BREAKING: True statement.

BREAKING: Buttermilk Beets drop 4 straight today. What a brutal showing. Per D Scro, absolute brutal performance from a team thought to be great. Should be an easy rivalry if we meet them in the regular season.

BREAKING: Sources say possible trades to come in the league in the upcoming days. Some seem to make 0 sense. #BREAKING

BREAKING: Ryan Scheck says he wants out of Plank Road Piranhas. He is sick of the team and how they “have no good players except [him] and Nate.” Could be huge in the upcoming weeks to see how this team deals with this and how conflicts could erupt in the future.

BREAKING: The Comets suck. Period. That’s the tweet. Slimes top 10 power rankings next week as they claim the division lead⁉️🐍

BREAKING: Nick Wood quits on the Maris Mystery. Teams falling apart per sources. “Chubs” wants out aswell. They didn’t want the Slimes smoke in the division race. Futures even brighter for the Slimes.

BREAKING: @WmlwA is a fraud, Plank Road Piranhas and Buttermilk Beets do not deserve top 15 rankings, neither to be ahead of the Slimes. Per official WMLW account, the Comets were #7 in the PR after week 1. The claims of our lackluster ability to win games will soon come to haunt fellow teams.

BREAKING: @WmlwA runner confirmed to be on Maris Mystery. With their rankings and comments on the team in this weeks power rankings, we see a clear match to the Mystery. High chance of it being Evan McCoy, would say he’s best in the odds if you were to bet on it.

They on the Maris Mystery

BREAKING: Plank Road Piranhas finalizing a trade to send Jake Dunn and a player to be named later to Buttermilk Beets for star player Alex Touloupas. More details to come on confirming of this, but as of right now, this trade is the first of many to come throughout the league.

BREAKING: Slimes DH Brennen Ippolito and OF Nick Thorpe have been placed on the 3 Day DL. More info to come soon.

BREAKING: State Road Slimes GM Brian Helbig and Buttermilk Beets Interim GM Jake Insley discussing possible trades in the upcoming weeks.

BREAKING: Cloggers drop two to the Slimes by forfeit. With early scheduled games it didn’t allow Slimes roster members to go on LNPR’s. Bad look for the Cloggers and good look for the Slimes as they have a big night ahead.

BREAKING: Hearing of a possible reunion tonight… more to come. Also hearing Gavin Wimsatt will be making an appearance.

BREAKING: Girls arriving at 11‼️ PER COMMISIONER‼️ Everyone pull up‼️

PARTY IS BUMPING‼️