Official 2021 Roster: Braden Pumputis Mason Fitzsimmons Nick Thorpe Brennen Ippolito Mason Mascari Christian Mascari Patrick Buttles Evan Democker Kaden Leonard GM: Mason Fitzsimmons Manager: Brian Helbig

1 week away 🙌 #slimeszn

Week 1 Schedule: Friday: 4:45 vs Mystery 5:35 at Cardinals Sunday: 8:25 vs Conquistadors 10:05 at Tunafish #slimeszn #superslimey

Slimes lose game 1 on Friday 5-4 to the Mystery and bounce back in game 2 with a 1-0 win against the Cardinals

0-2 tonight. Woj bomb incoming

Manager Brian Helbig has officially resigned from the slimes. No comment at this time.

This weeks slime of the week is Evan Democker. He pitched 8 innings and only allowed 1 run. #superslimey

Brian Helbig has been reinstated as Manager. His statement below:

Oh, you thought we only had 1 ace? Braden Pumputis threw a no hitter today against the Blue Jays and also had 2 rbis as Slimes win 2-0. #superslimey #2aces #slimeyoung

Caught the Plank Road Piranhas in our fishing net. They don’t even speak slime language‼️ The trash talk is our fuel. Nobody toxic like us 😈 #slimelanguage #superslimey

BREAKING: Maris Mystery drop a game to the Panthers. The division seems to be opening up for the Slimes. After a tough week 1 the Slimes look to bounce back with 2 W’s in week 2. The future is bright for the Slimes and cloudy for the Mystery.

Slimes brought the bats today‼️ Brennen Ippolito with a 3 run HR and Mason Mascari with a 2 run HR backed up by a stellar pitching performance from Evan Democker as the Slimes win 5-2 against the Comets. Things are looking #superslimey

This weeks slime of the week is Braden Pumputis. Not only did he throw a no hitter, but he went 4-4 at the plate this weekend‼️ #superslimey #slimelanguage

Breaking: Plank Road Piranhas have declined team option for OF Ryan Scheck will be exploring trade offers in the coming days. From an anonymous GM Quote: “ I don’t really see a market for him, he’s kinda a bum”

The Cogdell Cloggers must be constipated as they forfeit 2 games to the slimes. Looks like the league fears the slimes. Sorry we couldn’t put on a show for the fans. #slimenation

Cloggers show up for game 2 as slimes win 6-0. Home runs from LF Nick Thorpe, CF Christian Mascari, and DH/Owner Mason Fitzsimmons. Shutout started by Evan Democker and closed by Kaden Leonard. #superslimey #slimenation #slimelanguage

That was personal.⛽️⛽️

The Plank Road Piranhas dont show up to game, seems like they can’t back up their tweets

Member of Plank Road Piranhas bleaches hair rather than show up for game. I reckon that’s a forfeit