this is proving to be true in a bad way besties lol

One of the great scientific breakthroughs of our time was when Nathan Fielder discovered that the perfect response to someone saying something wild is "Oh, okay"

Crab Rangoons will fix this

This will break Etsy

“don’t buy coffee save money by making it at home” back off bitch i am hanging by a fucking thread

source: female intuition

currently in my Silver Springs on repeat era, take that as you will

oh you mean me? Just a little lady opening herself up to abundance? And as such, a little lady getting called to audition for a really ritzy church choir job next week???

they should invent a man with empathy

There should be an Oktoberfest for Diet Coke

i love u autumn i love u 68 degrees and sunny i love u big sweater and shorts i love u pumpkin spiced latte

call your representatives NOW

This is fucking INFURIATING. We can absolutely afford another war but no universal healthcare, student debt cancellation, infrastructure or a universal basic income. There’s always money to destroy lives and never any to build them.

Hey if you forgot to get me something for my birthday no problem, you can just read my latest story in Crow & Cross Keys