About time you showed up. My soul has been looking for you.

Put steel cages on the courts during WNBA games and watch ticket sales skyrocket

Love island but for under the booth stuff

In relationships, stop chasing clarity..stop negotiating with confusion.

My birthday plans include eating pizza in a vintage prom dress

Let’s go merge at the lower end of the speed limit.

yes, of course, i dipped, and obviously you dipped, but WE didn't dip - WE didn't dip

raw and deep

bro nana said we can’t hotbox the downstairs bathroom anymore

Your days of tyranny are, over lord farquaad.

*rolls my third eye*

I don't get enough sleep for this *gestures at everything*

My left arm is merely a prop that functions as a cell phone holder and kickstand.

Oh man. Time for another one.

You think I’m doing hot girl shit when really I’m at home looking up how to kill plant gnats.

I ain't worried bout it 🎶

Dear Americans, Grits are fucking disgusting. Love, Canadians. ps: I’m sorry I disrespected grits.

But would sitting on your lap really fix me?

someone told me they were pregnant and I asked, “who’s the baby” instead of who’s the father so goodbye forever

sometimes i don't speak, because all the words sound like i miss you.