Don’t really know how rugby works. But boy is it entertaining when you have other things you are supposed to be doing

Watching Woman’s Olympics diving. The girls from China are WAY too good, almost like robots. Like robots. Robots. They are Robots.

I can’t be the only one that doesn’t know the right amount of body wash to use. Right?

Does it make me a sociopath to enjoy the sheer and utter confusion someone goes through after they ask me if I got a haircut (when I did) and respond “no why?”

Would have loved to be a fly on the wall in the 1860s when French diplomats just decided it was a good idea to just gift us a 150 ft copper statue

Going to open up a gas station in nyc. How has no one thought of this before?

I hate Mondays more than I hate LA sports teams. I’ll say it

Someone find me a wall (preferably not brick) to run through right now

No matter how many times is try I cannot spell exersize right. I can’t be the only one

Why does it seem like half the people I know are traveling Europe right now?

We should hold hands and go on a walk down the West Side Highway

Huge for the brand. Zion Williamson

Day 3 of a self diagnosed broken hand. Gotta say I’m getting pretty good at brushing my teeth lefty. I might just be amphibious

I’ve watched Moana so many times I think I have no choice to put it in my Top 5 movies all time right behind Goodfellas

I don’t want to say it’s impossible, but I would be truly amazed and in awe if anyone ever pulled off a true surprise birthday party for me

Will people think I’m lame if I don’t go to a Taylor Swift concert this summer?

Micah Parsons is on the field but he’s not in his No. 11 jersey for the first time in camp.