Pregame routine: 2 shots of vodka and watch this video, then I'm ready to par-tay!! 🥳🍻🗽🔥

The most exciting 2 minutes in sports!!

I'm not taking sides, but Biden's public speaking skills are worse than 90% of open mic comedians... and they're mostly depressed meth addicts. Biden would be lucky to get 3 minutes at my open mic, and then I'd immediately pinch-hit Yo Semite Sam to get the energy up. #TheFlash

Watching the ships come in with a goose. #twoharbors

These "train" pictures sure look like that missing submarine. Cover up???

My 5 favorite cards from the new Lord of the Rings: Tales of Middle Earth MTG set, as discussed on the upcoming scott prokosch: Mirkwood Bats Shadow of the Enemy Delighted Halfling Aragorn the Uniter Doors of Durin #MTGxLOTR

Watching Spider-Man: No Way Home at Leif Erikson Park in Duluth. 👾

Always Bookin' Comedy - Pat DeGeest (Duluth, MN) youtube.com/live/r6jggnpCL… via YouTube

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Why isn't Worcestershire sauce in the international foods section?

Forget Powerball, homeowners insurance is the real Florida state lottery. You feel like you won something if they actually fix your house.

I'll be performing this weekend with mary mack in Marietta, GA at Strand Theatre. In my quest for local topics, I discovered that Georgia's state mammal, the white-tailed deer, looks a lot different than the ones I'm used to 🤣 I'm hoping to spot one!

Finally, something to energize the youth vote!

It's always nice encountering one of these irl

If anyone needs a laugh, it's the folks at Hyundai in Georgia. #Hyundai #hyundaigeorgia