Boyfriend is currently doing a downward dog and reciting rap lyrics in a deadpan voice whilst wearing my onesie #saturdaynight

@MrKenShabby Colin Browning Passports are red, Passports are blue. You've fucked this up Colin, Get used to the queue.

My boyfriend told me last night that whenever he hears I Got 5 On It by Luniz it reminds him of me because he thinks of it as my favourite song and I can't stop laughing about it tbh.

Niblo is making sure I stay healthy and demands I entertain him in exchange... cats 🤷🏼‍♂️

To the woman on the bus just now who gave me a terrified look and then got off at the next available stop because I coughed suddenly, my apologies. I don't have #coronavirus, I just choked on my chewy.

Constantly hear, amongst the crap spouted from royalists, "The queen brings in x million from tourism" but nobody has ever been able to explain how that's true. "Tourists come to see the palace/castles." Those are buildings not people. Queen or no queen they will still stand.

Just tried to sign into the Virgin Media ❤️ website to register loss of service and got this. You couldn't make this stuff up. Be better.

I found out yesterday that my boyfriend, aged 26, genuinely thought that mince pies had meat in them, and that they tasted that way because "they just add fruit and stuff to the meat". I am still reeling.

It's not even December yet and I have already lost count of the times I've listened to the Muppets Christmas Carol soundtrack 🐸🐷🎅🎄 #christmas

*guttural shrieking*

Yet again I find myself marvelling at how approximately four grains of paella rice can expand beyond all reason into a mountain of food. God bless you, rice 💖

James referred to Lithuania's entry as "Wrong Said Fred" before and I'm still laughing about it #eurovision

Everyone has an opinion about what they would do with a time machine but none of them has the correct opinion, which is to write the "I'm sorry ms jackson/I am four eels" tweet on the back of the declaration of independence in invisible ink

Candy by Mandy Moore is still such an absolute classic bop.

Turning your out of office on for Christmas is SUCH a good feeling that I turned it off again just so I could do it twice 🍾

They Live!

The Guardian Trickle Down Economics Trickle Down Economic Trickle Down Economi Trickle Down Econom Trickle Down Econo Trickle Down Econ Trickle Down Eco Trickle Down Ec Trickle Down E Trickle Down Trickle Dow Trickle Do Trickle D Trickle Trickl Trick

Michelle McManus spent more weeks on the UK Singles Chart than Kwasi Kwarteng spent serving as chancellor x

🔔 #BBCIPlayer down? 🔗 Real-time status: servicesdown.uk/services/bbc-i… 🔁 RETWEET if you are affected too. #BBCIPlayerDown #BBCIPlayerOutage (Possible problems since 2023-02-19 10:09:06)

Just a heads up to Leigh Leopards and Derek John Beaumont . I'm encouraging any fans disappointed by the handling of Tesi Nui and the systemic misogyny it's perpetuated, to boycott all social & financial engagement with the club & its partners. Pls RT and act if you agree.