Poison the Walker, Discord submission by Kafkaesque #MagicTheGathering #AiArtwork

I hate when people use the weather as a metric to measure Punxsutawney Phil's accuracy. Truth is if the weather doesn't match Phil's prediction, that's proof the government is manipulating the weather.

ambitious goal. why don’t we start with 1 and see how we feel

august (the guy in front of me on the train) eating olives with a screwdriver (me) I hope nobody judges me for being weird

It's important to spell it "Džejms" be serious

Off-brand saki spotted lmao

Americans sometimes use French words like "hors d'oeuvres." And that's just for starters.

Californians don't know about snow tires or cables

if ur feeling overwhelmed just take a moment and rly observe ur surroundings. you’ll be like ok wow there’s dust everywhere. just another thing to deal with. plus dishes and laundry. and climate change is getting like so so bad. what were we talking about

my niece knows what a Tree is (rounds of applause) and she was watching a documentary and saw a tree with Snow so she said Christmas Tree (reasonable). Then she saw a fox and said Fox, and then a Wolf with snow on it was on the screen and she gasped and said Christmas Fox

ME: 20 years ago we had No Child Left Behind. Now we have None Pizza Left Beef. Is this anything MY FRIEND WHO LIVES IN A BUNK BED IN A GARAGE WITH ME: None pizza left beef was also 20 years ago OWNER TEXTING US BOTH: Can you keep it down I'm recording ASMR

Whenever an Italian player homers, the camera cuts over to the dugout to show the first baseman giving that player a piping hot double shot of espresso and a kiss on each cheek, which is exactly what you’d assume team Italy would be doing to celebrate home runs in the WBC

I could read my library book (critically acclaimed, intellectually stimulating, beneficial medium pre-sleep) but consider, instead, the allure of half-watching a YouTube video while online shopping

american learning the dutch word for citizen: so imagine a burger

納豆あげたら大惨事