after asking four close friends for advice, a fifth friend finally told me what I wanted to hear.

my NFL if u even care

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman

me testing the firmness of every avocado in the grocery store

real

The most telling video. Everyone wants a ceasefire, so Zelensky explains what became of the last one. For this, Vance brands him disrespectful. Zelensky’s crime wasn’t disrespect. It was refusing to pay homage, telling the truth, and answering back.

She called it.

When I rewatched the Prestige for the second time and had forgotten that one guy had a twin

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off so you don't have to listen to such an unbearable noise

The racists who want immigrants to go back. Never consider the reality and the impact it would have on their lives. The NHS would collapse overnight, care homes would be way under staffed, and schools would struggle because of the lack of teachers. Etc.

people who drive faster than me? reckless lunatics. people who drive slower than me? annoying cowards. and me? perfect, as per usual

The person I was interviewing — who I’ve never met before — ended the call with “love you” and I know now they are rethinking their entire existence

And I got the news on my 17th birthday 💔

In a healthy relationship, your partner hears you out if you’re upset, and their goal is to avoid upsetting you in the future, not debate whether you should have been upset in the first place, or make you feel as though your emotional experience is wrong.

there’s a version of me in the past that was watching the naughty boy thing take place in real time and doesn’t believe we’re here

Love that everyone still calls it Twitter lol

it's time to give that baby monkey a gun