William Shatner going to space is just what I needed to hear today. 🖖

People who leave reviews like this...why?

Pham Fatale, indeed. Late Zappos CEO's assistant accused of 'preying on his vulnerability' mol.im/a/10116643 via Mail Online

This would make a great movie. "Cash Me If You Can" The story of Lori Ann Talens. Couple sentenced to prison for $32M coupon scam thehill.com/legal/578395-c…

Me: If y'all don't like my lettuce puns, keep escarole-ing! Twitter: So basically keep doing what we've been doing? Me: Yeah, pretty much.

I was 5 years old when I learned the color of my skin made me a suspect at the supermarket, and my Mom tore into a security guard for profiling me. If WE have to learn about racism at an early age, then why can't White kids?

I hate to say it, but I honestly don't think Kyle Rittenhouse is going to be convicted. I hope I'm wrong, not holding my breath.

I am shaking. My "neighbor" shot and killed my cat. We just had a yelling match. I usually only tweet politics. We heard shooting at 9 pm and found the cat this morning.

PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 America is the only country that when some of it's citizens protest racism, other citizens think they are protesting America.

Sea cucumbers really should have been named "seacchini" but nobody listens to me anyway.

Caroline Ouellette would make a great GM for the Canadiens #GoHabsGo

The right is now telling people to inhale hydrogen peroxide via a nebulizer to prevent COVID-19. This unvaccinated man says it cleans out the virus after his maskless trips to the movie theater and prevents the effects of “vaxxed-out people from shedding all over” him.

How can you predict if you'd be an asymptomatic spreader of COVID? Ask yourself : "Are my farts silent yet deadly?"

I've been driving for 25+ years. Zero accidents. I feel so foolish for having worn my seatbelt all these years. I could have had my freedom. No more of this tyranny! I'll be selling my airbags on Craigslist. Anyone know how I can remove them without deploying them? #freedumb

@BornAKang Pause… you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation

Kanye: I lost a billion in a day Elon: Hold my beer #TwitterTakeover