one gotta go!!

Fun thing to do is go back through your highschool year books and see whose gay now

As a bartender this is probably every drink.

i saw that someone tried to kill nancy pelosi with a hammer and got so excited that i ran downstairs like a child on christmas morning to tell my boyfriend and he stopped what he was doing and gave me a hug and said “that’s wonderful news”

The CREAM Flea at the TENWEST block party TOMORROW will be an unforgettable CREAM Brand Experience!🥳🤡 Stop by our booth and hangout with us as we will have EXCLUSIVE merch you can only get at the market 🤩 This FREE event will be from 10-5pm.

My self-driving Tesla crosses four lanes of freeway traffic in an attempt to jackknife an oncoming subaru. In the final seconds of my life, I’m filling out a captcha to try and regain control of the vehicle, but I don’t know which squares in the grid are “woke”

Do not post any more jokes about fucking the balloon or nutting inside of the balloon . Not until the authorites figure out whats going on .

Barbara & I are enjoying this beautiful banana creme pie my daughter Michele made us

🕵🏻‍♂️

I'm a business shoe. You're not a business shoe, you're just a regular shoe looking for a job!

My son is crying and screaming and rolling around the floor and also he bit me because he wants to work the overnight shift on the slaughterhouse kill floor but the government is forcing him to go to school to learn gender.

Right now u can watch Ancient Aliens on the NONHISTORYCHANNEL

Only chiken nudles up in here

new yorkers should be heading down to the 9/11 memorial today to collect off the pavement some of the 10,000+ birds that will die in the light tribute so that they can eat them

I put my American audience to the test with a selection of my darkest jokes…

📣 We're going to do a ONE HOUR BOYCOTT of AMAZON 😷 No one buy anything from Amazon for the next hour! 💵🚫⏲️ If you need anything just go to Whole Foods! 🛒🌭🥨🍖🥦

Katy Perry has died in space.

M