India might have tried to emulate Bazball in getting skittled for 46, but they’ll only ever be pretenders to the throne. MORE OF THIS CHAOTIC NONSENSE PLEASE.

.SimpsonsCricket “I must go now, my planet needs me” Note: Ben Stokes’ bat died on the way back to its home planet.

Suzie Bates became the most capped women's international cricketer today. Remarkably also played in the Olympics, in basketball in 2008. #T20WomensWorldCup

Every time I think I’m done with football, something like this happens and reels me back in. Exquisite stuff.

A reminder that benefit fraud is at 3.7% and disability benefit fraud is at 0.2%

Got asked by Ben - Cans on the Train (A) to do the timer for the game while he did the tweets for Newport Pagnell Town FC today. Ref’s extracting the urine with how much extra time they’re playing.

Nightmare blunt rotation

Other than watching people who are good at stuff being cataclysmically shit at something they’re good at, this is my favourite thing about masterchef.

We keep being told "wait til march to judge labour on how they treat disabled people" but the unmistakable signs that the public is being turned against disabled people in preparation for more cuts are there for all to see. This #Dispatches is just the tip of the iceberg.

Fun fact. Charlie XCX’s full name is actually Hundredharfiftyonee Ninetyten.

Wait. Since when did UEFA make players line up for the champions league anthem? That’s fucking hilariously shit.

Ten and a half minutes of two loathsome twats arguing about who hates foreigners more.

Hi Michael Vaughan It was actually the inequality in wealth distribution between the Big Three and everyone else that created the conditions that led to South Africa being forced to prioritise their domestic T20 over a Test Series in NZ. Rather focus on that.